Now that I’m a parent I find that I’m using some of the same phrases & terms my parents used with me. When one of my kids always says “Well B did it, so I did it too” my comeback is always “Well, if B jumped off a cliff would you jump off a cliff too?” But there are others that I find myself using too.
When I was in elementary school, my mom had a job as playground duty. She was the adult that walked around the playground monitoring so that everyone had their turn on the swings, nobody got beat up, if there was an injury, she was the one that took care of it.
If people weren’t being nice on the playground, or even if I was at home and my mom and dad were watching the news and a story came on about how someone stole something, blah, blah, blah, my parents always instilled in me that the things these people do, it doesn’t make them a bad person, it just means they made bad choices.
Now, fast forward to my life now. I sent the kids over to a friend’s house the other night while I went and signed some paperwork for my new second job. When I got home, I walked over there & picked them up and actually met the kid’s mom. I had met all the kids before, just not their mom.
When I got home, I started just making conversation and asking questions. What does Suzie’s (name has been changed) mom do for a living? How many brothers & sister’s does Suzie have? What did you guys do while I was gone?
Both T & B brought up that they didn’t know her name, but they knew she had breast cancer…but she had surgery, so she’s all better now. :) They followed that up with “And she smokes…I told Suzie that it’s bad for her mom to smoke…”
I immediately followed it up with “You know, just because she smokes doesn’t make her a bad person…” and both kids answered “yes”. That left me with a huge sigh of relief. I was concerned about that because their stepdad, who was not a nice person, smoked. I’m glad they can differentiate between that and they don’t affiliate anyone that smokes with their stepdad.
What do you find yourself saying to your kids that your parents said to you?