Before my son was born, we were very insistent that he would NOT be sleeping in bed with us. Shortly after we came home from the hospital that all changed.

Being a first time mom, I’d get up during the night to get him out of his crib (that was next to our bed) to feed him. I’d sit down in bed to either nurse or bottle feed him and we’d both fall asleep and he just ended up sleeping in our bed.

Well, almost 16 months later…he’s STILL sleeping in our bed. Ugh. I’m SO over it. E is a very restless sleeper. And we have a Cal-King bed and he manages to take over most of it. How a 30 lb, 1 year old manages to take over most of the bed, I’ll never know. Haha!

We’ve tried almost everything to get him to sleep in his crib and nothing has worked. Even when we moved to our new apartment we thought that might help. Nope.

Everybody says to let him cry it out and he’ll only cry for 10-15 minutes and then stop. Hahaha!!! WRONG!!! This kid has cried upwards of 45 minutes and then he’ll fall asleep for an hour, then wake up and cry for another 45 minutes. It really tugs at my heart strings. We finally gave up on the crib.

A couple of weeks ago we bought him a toddler bed. And it’s a fire engine & it even has a light on the top. He still won’t sleep in his bed. I wonder if it’s the mattress because he’ll be sound asleep in my arms and I’ll go lay him down in his bed and as soon as his head touches the bed, he’s wide awake and screaming bloody murder. And it’s not the human touch either. Because he’ll fall asleep in my arms and I’ll lay him on the bed next to me and he’ll stay sound asleep. Plus, there’s some kind of anxiety there too. Because I even curled up in to an almost ball and laid on his toddler bed with him and he’d still just scream and cry.

I think we’re starting to find a solution though. Now that he has his own bedroom, we leave the bedroom door open all the time and put some of his toys in there so that he becomes familiar with the room and going in that room isn’t a bad thing. Plus, for his 1st birthday, his grandma gave him his very own Paw Patrol couch that folds out in to a little bed. We’ve put the toddler bed in my bed with me (my husband is sleeping on the couch right now because of surgery) and once he falls asleep, I lay him on his little couch and he sleeps there. Right now, he’ll only stay there for about 2-3 hours and then it’s game over and he won’t sleep on it any more. So, we’re making progress. Hopefully we’ll be able to transition him to his room soon.

Did you co-sleep with your child? How did you transition them to their own bed?


Back Update

I forgot to give y’all an update on my back.

1 1/2 wks ago I went to a different doctor to get a second opinion since everything the first doctor did, didn’t work. 

This doctor seemed to do a more thorough exam on my back. She looked at my MRI while I was sitting there & even explained to me what she was looking at. 

We are still at the conclusion that i have a herniated disc between L5 & S1. However, it’s not pressing on the nerve. Only when i run & things get jarred around in there does it push up against the nerve. Because of this, they’re in no hurry to do surgery. 

They did send me to get ANOTHER back injection though. The first injection i got over a month ago didn’t work, so i was very skeptical about this one. 

Last Fri i went to ANOTHER doctor who did the back injection. It hurt like a b*tch. BUT…i think it had a positive effect on me. The first day or so, it still hurt really bad, but then i had little to no pain. Up until today. 

I woke up this morning & my pain level was about an 8 & it has stayed that way most of today. I can take a pain pill & that helps a little, but once the pain pill wears off, it’s back to an 8 again. 

They also had me start pool physical therapy on Monday. So i don’t know if the pain is from physical therapy or if i slept funky last night or what. It’ll be interesting to see what the pain is like tomorrow. 

If the pain continues i honestly don’t know what I’m gonna do. But i’ll definitely keep you posted. 

Words of Motivation

The other day as I was scrolling through Facebook, had a post about 20 motivational quotes to get you moving.  You can read the entire article here. I love a good quote. So, I thought I’d post some of my favorites from the article and then include a couple of my personal favorites that I’ve found elsewhere.

“A lot of times people look at the negative  side of what they feel they can’t do. I always  look on the positive  side of what I can do.” – Chuck Norris, martial artist & actor

“It’s never too late — never too late to start over, never too late to be happy.” – Jane Fonda, fitness personality, fashion model & actress

“Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger, actor, politician & professional bodybuilder

“Don’t say ‘I can’t.’ Say ‘I presently struggle with.'” – Tony Horton, creator of the P90X workout program.

“The body only profits a little from exercising, but the spirit profits a lot.” – Billy Blanks, creator of the Tae Bo fitness system

“Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.” – Mahatma Gandhi, leader of the Indian independence movement

“If you have a body, you are an athlete.” – Bill Bowerman, former University of Oregon track & field coach

“It’s not whether you get knocked down. It’s whether you get up.” – Vince Lombardi, legendary professional football coach

“I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan, six-time NBA Champion

“With drive and a bit of talent, you can move mountains.” – Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, actor & former professional wrestler

Now, here are some of my personal favorites:

“I am stronger than this challenge, and this challenge is making me even stronger.” – Unknown (tattooed on my arm)

“…Your biggest challenge isn’t someone else. It’s the ache in your lungs and the burning in your legs, and the voice inside you that yells ‘CAN’T’, but you don’t listen. You just push  harder. And then you hear the voice whisper ‘can’. And you discover that the person you thought you were is no match for the one you really are.”

And last but not least…

“You ain’t gonna believe this, but you used to fit right here (taps on the inside of his hand). I’d hold you up to say to your mother, ‘This kid’s gonna be the best kid in the world. This kid’s gonna be somebody better than anybody I ever knew.’ And you grew up good and wonderful. It was great just watching you, every day was like a privilege. Then the time come for you to be your own man and take on the world, and you did. But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you’re no good. And when things got hard, you started looking for something to blame, like a big shadow. Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now, if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that! I’m always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens. You’re my son and you’re my blood. You’re the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, ya ain’t gonna have a life. Don’t forget to visit your mother.” – Rocky Balboa

Do you have any favorite motivational quotes you’d like to share?


So, I’m at work right now and listening to a playlist I made on YouTube. I’ve put it on shuffle. I thought it would be fun to share with you the next 10 songs that come on and tell you how I feel about them or what memory I associate with them. 🙂 Music is definitely one of my forms of therapy. It can totally pull me out of a crappy day.

  • Bad, Bad Leroy Brown by Jim Croce – Love this song. It reminds me of when I took tap/ballet when I was a kid. This was one of the songs we danced to. I still remember about 2 of the moves. Haha!
  • In the Air Tonight by Phil Collins – I’m actually kind of tired of this song. I should remove it from my playlist. It was a big hit at the dueling piano bar I used to go to because it was in the movie The Hangover.
  • Send Me to Glory in a Glad Bag by Voice Male – This song just makes me smile. It was done by an LDS music group. The song isn’t very churchy, but it’s cute. You should totally listen to it.
  • Footloose by Kenny Loggins – Here’s a little bit of trivia…this movie was filmed about 30 minutes away from where I live. One of Utah’s claim to fame’s! I’m a child of the 80s, so I LOVE this song. Makes me wanna just get up and dance!!
  • Crazy Little Thing Called Love by Queen – I haven’t found a Queen song that I don’t like. This song makes me want to jump & jive in my seat. 🙂
  • Enter Sandman by Metallica – The intro to this song just KICKS ASS!!! I first heard this song at Keys on Main and ever since, it’s been one of my favorites.
  • Something There from Beauty & the Beast – Haha! Shows how versatile my playlist is. I love a good Disney song. Hell, I remember when this movie first came out. I can tell you exactly what theater I went to and who I went with. Going to this movie was my payment for a babysitting gig. Lol. On a side note…if you haven’t seen the new version of this movie…GO!!! It’s AWESOME!!! They did a great job with it.
  • Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson – Michael was a VERY talented musician. Whenever I hear this song I think of a Halloween a couple of years back at Keys on Main. George dressed up as Michael Jackson and sang all of Michael’s songs. He sounded just like him. I’ve got a picture of it somewhere.
  • I Think We’re Alone Now by Tommy James and the Shondells – My favorite version of this song was done by Tiffany back in the late 80s, early 90s. I’ve got that version of this song on my playlist too. It just reminds me of when I was a kid. My grandma and grandpa used to take me and my cousin camping every year and I remember being in the campground by the picnic table and my cousin making up a dance to this song. Lol.
  • Just Give Me a Reason by Pink ft. Nate Ruess – Wow! I love this song. If you really listen to this song, it’s about a couple who have set their love aside and now they’re trying to find it again. Won’t go in to much detail, but I totally resonate with this song right now.

So…there’s my 10 songs. Do you have a favorite song?


Crazy Monday

Today has been a crazy day. It started out bright & early with a doctor appt for my back. This is where i got my 2nd opinion. This doctor seemed to be better. She wants to treat my back more aggressively. 

The doctor looked at my MRI & x-rays & we came to the conclusion that yes, i have a bulging disc & it’s not hitting any nerves…yet. Unless i go running. So, running is out of the question for now. 

The doctor wants me to do more injections, like i did last time. But in a different spot in my back to see if that helps. She also wants me to try a different form of physical therapy. She wants me to do pool therapy. Let’s hope my swim suit still fits. Lol. It’ll be nice to get back in the water. My first therapy session is in 1 week. 

The doctor also gave me pain meds to help throughout the day & a muscle relaxer to help at night. So, we will see how that goes. 

I got to work & actually got somewhat caught up. I got some decent hours in today. That’s nice cause lately i’ve been struggling to get all my hours in. Thankfully my job has been patient with me & willing to work with me. 

For whatever reason, after i got home from work, my anxiety shot through the roof. I’m not sure why either. Sometimes i can pinpoint why my anxiety is flaring, sometimes i can’t. Today was the latter of the two. 

I don’t know if it’s because i’m in some insane pain with my back tonight & i’m just tired of it or what. I tried to do a PiYo workout tonight & i made it 8 min before the anxiety got the better of me & i threw in the towel. 

I feel bad because i want to be a motivation to people & i want to lose weight, but i feel like i’m disappointing alot of people too. 

Oh well. Tomorrow is another day. It’s going to be a GREAT day & i’m going to get stuff done. 

How was your Monday?

Back Issues

I’ve been having back issues for the past, oh, probably 6 months. Right down above my tailbone, in the small of my back, it hurts REALLY bad. It doesn’t feel like sciatica (had that when I was 2 1/2 months pregnant). I finally got tired of the pain and finally went to the doctor.

It took a month to get in to the doctor, but she did a physical exam and said that since I didn’t have any trauma to make my back hurt (I woke up one morning and got out of bed and it’s hurt ever since) that she wanted to do an MRI. I had an MRI on April 1st and it came back saying I had a moderately herniated disc between L5 and S1.

See that spongy thing under L5 before you get to the sacrum? That’s the disc that the MRI says is herniated.

So, they said the treatment for that was a cortisone shot/epidural in my back and to do physical therapy. So I went in for the injection. It hurt like a b*tch. They told me it would take 3-4 days for it to kick in and for me to see a difference. I didn’t do physical therapy only because my husband started physical therapy right then for his shoulder so I talked to the P.T. & asked him how necessary P.T. was. He basically told me that one session would be good, but then he’d send me home with stretches and all would be good. Well, I figured since I’m doing the 21 Day Yoga Retreat through Beachbody that would work, so I didn’t do P.T.

3 weeks later and my back is still KILLING me. So, we called the doctor again. They’ve now prescribed me some Prednisone (fun, fun!) and told me to do P.T. This time I am doing P.T. I had my first session this last Monday.

My P.T. is awesome! I’ve been to him before when I broke my leg & ankle about 10 years ago. But, he listens to my story, does kind of a physical exam and starts working with me. Based off of my symptoms, he doesn’t think it’s a herniated disc. He thinks it has something to do with my S.I. Joint (I’m vaguely familiar with that). He did get concerned when at the end of the P.T. session I told him that when I walked in to therapy, my pain level was at a 4, but as I’m leaving it’s at a 7. NOTHING that we did in P.T. helped it and it should have relieved even the slightest bit of pain.

So, I got my P.T. a copy of my MRI and he’s going to take a look at it and see if he happens to see anything different. Yes, I know he’s not a doctor, but he’s got a lot of school and has to be familiar with how the body works to be a P.T.; therefore a second look at the MRI might help. Plus, we’ve decided to get a 2nd opinion on my back. I’ve got an appointment with a different doctor on Monday to see if they see anything different.

I just want my back to stop hurting. I can’t stand for long periods of time. I can’t sit for long periods of time. Yoga ends up being painful. Sitting on a bike hurts like a b*tch. Plus, when I go running, like clock work, at 1 1/2 miles, my left foot goes numb. I think, and so does my P.T., we think that has something to do with my back injury too.

So…I’ll keep you posted on all this crap too. 🙂

Weight Loss Barriers

I know I’ve touched on this before, but I’ve found prompts on what to blog about and this seemed like a good one. Especially with my place in life right now.

We ALL have barriers with weight loss in one way or another. Everybody’s is different. I lost weight 9 years ago and dropped 114 lbs., but have gained it back since (long story). But, I’m at it again, but I’ve got my barriers.

Weight Loss BarrierI think the first trick is to identify what your barriers are and then you can work on getting past those barriers. Oh, I’ve been able to EASILY identify my barriers. But getting past those barriers has been the tough thing for me.

One of the things that stands in my way is I haven’t found a balance between me time and family time yet. I’ve got a 14 year old, a 12 year old and a 1 year old. The 14 and 12 year old are special needs, so that doesn’t make it any easier. The 1 year old, he’s just a 1 year old learning to explore this new world he’s in. My life is VERY busy. I get up at 6:00 a.m. to get the kids ready for school, get them all off to where they need to go (school, therapy, babysitter, etc.), then I’m off to work for 8 hours…that’s IF I don’t have therapy appointments to be to for said kids, etc. Then, I get off work at 5:00 pm, go pick up all the kids from 3 different places, go home, attempt to make something for dinner. Do a load of wash, get kids doing their homework, get them bathed, and then it’s time to get the 1 year old down to bed. Right now, I’m the only one that he will let put him to bed…in my bed (I know, I know. He shouldn’t be sleeping in my bed…there’s a whole other post I could write on that.). By the time I get the baby to sleep, I’m absolutely exhausted!!! Last thing I want to do is doing an intense workout, etc.

But…here is how I’m getting through it. Right now my husband is out of work (he’s injured). Therefore, every once in a blue moon, the 1 year old will sit and relax with Dad and I can get a 30 minute yoga session in right now. A month ago, I joined Beachbody. One of the best things I could’ve done. I haven’t been able to run because after 1 1/2 miles, my feet go numb and I don’t feel it safe to run like that. I can’t bike right now because my back injury (that’s another post too. Lol.). But, Beachbody allows me to do a different type of workout every day. I started with the 21 Day Yoga Retreat in hopes that it helps with my back. So, that’s how I’m managing to get a workout in right now. Once my husband goes back to work (don’t know when), it’ll be interesting to see how I’m able to manage to get a workout in then.

Another barrier I have is my anxiety. I know that might sound weird that anxiety stops my workouts, when in reality, anxiety is one of THE BEST things you can do for a workout. 4 years ago I did my first 1/2 Ironman. I was in AWESOME shape. I know what my body is capable. I was running 9:15-9:30 miles. Now when I step on a treadmill or go outside, I’m lucky if I’m faster than a 14:00/mile. That just makes my anxiety shoot through the roof. It’s frustrating seeing where I was 4 years ago and seeing where I am now.

But…here is how I’m getting through it. Like I said a paragraph or 2 ago, I’ve just had to go in a different direction right now. To save myself from going insane, I very rarely go running right now and I don’t have a bike to ride. So, I do Beachbody. And thinking “It’s only 30 minutes” really helps. Right now, with the yoga, I will be watching and doing the stuff in the video and it doesn’t feel like very long and then I look up and the timer says I’m 1/2 way through it. Score!!!

One last of many barriers I have is my eating. I’m an emotional eater. With all of the stresses in my life right now, I like to deal with my anxiety and stress by eating. A big ole piece of cake with TONS of frosting makes me feel better. Plus, my family has issues with portion distortion. My husband made dinner the other night while I did my yoga and I came out and there was a heaping plate of food waiting for me. It was probably 3-4 times the amount than what I was supposed to eat.

But…here is how I’m getting through it. I have to have a mindset before I even sit down to dinner that if there’s too much on my plate, I DO NOT have to eat it all. That plate of food the other night that my husband made…it was DELICIOUS. But I probably only ate 1/3 of it. The rest is divided up in to dishes for me to take for lunch this week. Another thing that helps me is I don’t deprive myself of treats. I will allow myself to have one “sweet” thing to eat a week. I figure if I completely deprive myself of it, I’m eventually going to cave and just binge up everything sweet. We all know THAT’S not good. Another thing I do, is I track all of my food on MyFitnessPal. I’ve been doing that for a long time. That seems to help. The last thing I do is I have started drinking A LOT more water and less soda. No, water isn’t as fun as soda, but if I’m able to cut soda out completely, I know I’ll see the pounds just fall off. I’m down to 1 can of soda a day. Next week, it’ll be none.

So…with all that being said…what’s in your way and keeping you from accomplishing your weight loss goals? What are you doing to get through it?