Stick a Fork in Me…

Stick a fork in me…I’m DONE.
Stick a fork in me

It just seems like I can’t catch a break worth shit. Let me give you a little glimpse in to my life the past 1-2 months.

T ended up going in to residential therapy for 2 1/2 weeks. That was REALLY good for her. She has now stepped down to day treatment. Things seem to be going well. She is now home in the evenings, but is at day treatment and school from 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. Monday – Friday. So, before I get to work in the morning I’ve got to help get 3 kids ready for the day, drop off E at the babysitter (grandma & grandpa’s), rush T out to school/therapy. Get B dropped off at school and then get to work. We like to be out the door by 7:30 a.m. I get the kids up at 6:30 a.m., and it takes B 55 minutes to get ready in the morning. He’s 12!!!! What the hell takes him so long? If he keeps it up, I’m gonna wake him up at 4:30 a.m. so that we can get out the door on time. It’s RIDICULOUS.

I manage to walk in to work between 8:30-9:00 a.m. I’m lucky if I get a full day of work in. Usually I have to leave for therapy appointments for the kids or to take my husband to the doctor because he had surgery on his shoulder a month ago.

Usually my husband ends up taking the car and dropping me off at work so he has the car to go to physical therapy etc. But then come 4:00-4:30, time to leave to go get T from therapy and pick up B & E from their separate babysitters.

As soon as we get home, I attempt to start on dinner while the kids take the dogs out and do any of their chores. We’ve been having lots of visitors at our house from the church lately, so it’s a rush to try & get the house looking semi-presentable for the visitors, plus try & eat dinner too. Plus, with a 1 yr old being active, gotta make sure he doesn’t eat the dog food or play in the dogs water, etc. Gotta make sure the kids are working on their homework, if they have any. All whilst making dinner & praying I don’t burn it.

The visitors come over, so T takes the dogs back in to her room so the dogs don’t go crazy on the visitors. The visitors could come over to talk to me, but inevitably, the conversation turns to my husband and they talk to him more because he’s injured. Little do they know that I’m injured too.

Finally get the visitors to leave and it’s time to get E to go down for the night. I’m the only one who can do that, so off we go to the back bedroom to sit in bed and rock him with lullabies. Some nights it’s not a fight, some night’s it’s World War 3 trying to get him to bed. He’s finally asleep, and I’m so exhausted from doing EVERYTHING that I crash shortly thereafter.

Oh, and if I’m lucky, somewhere in there, I might be able to get my 20-30 minutes of yoga in. But watch out, that frustrates me & stresses me out.

Everybody else is getting taken care of and is getting some sort of attention for them to feel better. My husband goes to physical therapy, T & B go to therapy, E just gets TONS of lovin’ from his grandma & grandpa…what do I get? NOTHING.

Oh and let’s not forget, we have to add in temper tantrums from B and possibly T because they are overwhelmed or they don’t want to do what they’ve been asked. Or they’ve stolen something & we’ve caught them.

When am I going to get as much attention as everyone else? My husband can’t do much around the house because he’s still in a sling from his shoulder surgery, but I can’t take much more.

I’ve got a herniated disc in my back between L5 and S1. I went in for an epidural on 4/18/17 to help it…yea, it didn’t help. I’m in excruciating pain almost 24/7. It doesn’t help that the day I got the epidural, I didn’t have a chance to sit down and rest for it to take effect, because of everything else listed above. I’m not going to be able to call the doctor until my husband is back to 100% because if they say surgery is the next option, I can’t be out for surgery when he is still recovering. Hell, I can’t even afford to take time off to go to a doctor appointment. I’m so behind at work because I have to take time off for everyone else’s appointments (good thing my work is AWESOME and doesn’t mind).

I seriously need to escape to a cabin in the woods where nobody needs anything and there is a maid there to do everything for me. I’ve seriously reached my limit. I tell people this every damn day, but nothing gets done.



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