My Social Anxiety

It seems the older I get the more bad my social anxiety gets. I used to be able to go to crowded places and not be phased, but I’ve noticed especially since I was pregnant, it’s gotten worse.

We have a shopping mall here in Salt Lake City called City Creek. We went there the other night to attempt to take Baby E to see Santa. The mall is owned by the Mormon Church. This mall has a dress code too. Not a strict dress code. But if you’re one of those folks that likes to wear their pants 1/2 way down your ass with your underwear hanging out, you’ll be asked to fix it or leave.

As soon as we got to the mall, my anxiety just skyrocketed. It was wall to wall people.

crowded-places
I felt like the guy in the middle.

 

Everybody was crammed in to the elevator. There was just too damn many people. I don’t know if my anxiety is caused by my two older kids not knowing how to act in public, therefore they’re extremely embarrassing, or if it’s my fear of being judged, etc. City Creek Mall is a mall for the REALLY wealthy people to go shopping at. It’s a beautiful mall, but all the stores there are expensive. I’ve never gone there before because I know I can’t afford it. So, I don’t know if that’s part of my anxiety too.

We ended up leaving instead of waiting around to see Santa because my anxiety just couldn’t handle it.

This isn’t the only occasion either. I wanted to go to the Festival of Trees this year, but I just knew I couldn’t handle it. Last year my husband took me to a TSO concert and I was able to sit through the concert, but barely. My legs were jittery the entire time, etc.

So, my question for you is…Do you have social anxiety? How do you handle it?

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1 thought on “My Social Anxiety”

  1. Shopping malls before christmas!? You sure are brave 🙂

    Self-validation has been a large part of my recovery from social anxiety. I used to place too much emphasis on what other people thought, these days I still notice myself having those thoughts but I have learned that those thoughts don’t have to stop me from doing the things I want to do. Not all situations are as simple as that though

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