Overwhelmed, Anxiety, Training…Oh my!!!

Last night I had a massive breakdown. I literally sat in bed and cried from the moment I got home until I fell asleep from exhaustion.

Now that the kids are out of school for the summer, starting Monday, we’re sending them to the Boys & Girls Club while the boyfriend & I are at work. But until then…my mom & dad are taking them. With them out of school for the summer now, I can extend my work hours a little bit.

So…yesterday I worked 9:00 to 3:15 p.m. B had a doctor appointment yesterday, so on my way to his Dr appointment, I had to stop by my 2nd job and adjust my schedule there. At my 2nd job, they were going to have me work from 10:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m., but this Saturday I have to work at my first job from 9:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m., so I had to do a little schedule adjusting.

When I went in to adjust my schedule, they were fine with it. They just now have me working 4:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. on Thursday & Friday and then 3:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. on Saturday. So…this is what my schedule looks like the next 3 days:

Thursday:
Job # 1 – 9:00 a.m. to 3:30 p.m.
Job # 2 – 4:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. (possibly later. We have to close the store)

Friday:
Job # 1 – 9:00 a.m. to 3:30 p.m.
Job # 2 – 4:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. (possibly later. We have to close the store)

Saturday:
Job # 1 – 9:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m.
Job # 2 – 3:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. (possibly later. We have to close the store)

This is VERY overwhelming for me.

Overwhelmed

I’m really struggling with it because I now don’t have time to train for my 70.3 in Sept. At least this week I don’t have time to train. I’m also really struggling because I’m not going to see my boyfriend except for maybe 10 minutes in the morning when we’re both getting ready for work & trying to get the kids up & ready to go too. By the time I get home from work at 10:30 p.m., maybe later, he’s going to be sound asleep.

The only thing that is giving me comfort right now is knowing that my second job is something I’m good at. I’m good at cashiering.

I was a cashier for 6 yrs a long time ago.
I was a cashier for 6 yrs a long time ago.

I know I can go to work, do what needs to be done, do it well, and then leave. There are no politics or anything like that, ya know?

I’m just REALLY hoping that I have Sunday off of work. I’m going to need one day where I can do nothing but spend time with my family.

I’m really hoping that next week my schedule between both of my jobs isn’t as crazy as it is this week. I know though that if it does get crazy like this, I can go to my boss at my 2nd job and let him know I’m feeling overwhelmed and he’ll lighten my schedule a bit.

I’ll be honest, it scares me to death that if I keep up the work schedule like I have the next 3 days that I’m not going to be able to adequately train for my 70.3 and I’m going to become fat again. I don’t want to be a fat girl again. I’ve decided that even if I get home at 10:30 – 11:00 p.m. tonight, I might still put on my workout clothes and head over to my apartment gym and walk/run 3 miles on the treadmill just so that I can do something. Anything. I just need to stay active. Working out is what helps me get through the stresses of life.

My boyfriend sent me this video today and it kind of put everything in to perspective a little bit. It made me glad that life isn’t quite as bad as it seems. It’s definitely hard, but I’ve got to do what I’ve got to do to help make ends meet for my family, ya know?

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3 thoughts on “Overwhelmed, Anxiety, Training…Oh my!!!”

  1. Sorry you are overwhelmed. That schedule honestly makes me want to lay down right here in my office haha. I guess I’m not very helpful 🙂 But you will get through it! Make that money, honey!

  2. Oh this schedule is so reminiscent of when I worked a lot! I think you have to remember to be nice to yourself — and as long as you are eating right when you are at work (make that a focus!) then you will get through it. In addition, try and take one full day off each week – can you book saturday or sunday off at both jobs? I used to work six days a week and MAKE SURE I had one off… then you could at least exercise that day and see your boyfriend.
    The other thing is do squats/lunges/planks/situps/pushups/burpees whatever in the break room! Or on a patch of grass outside work. Even 50 squats a day will make you feel like you are doing something.

    Those are all my tips – I used to work 80+ hours a week for a few months, so hopefully that helps. And remember, this too shall pass and there is no shame in crying — it does the same for us endorphin wise as exercise does! Sending you so much love!

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