Fear of Failure – Going Back to School

Ever since I started losing weight and competing in triathlons 4.5 years ago, I’ve found a love and passion for fitness. I have friends ask me for advice all the time in regards to fitness. With that being said, I’m finally taking the leap and starting school on August 19 to become a certified personal trainer.

I’m excited, I’m nervous, but to be honest with you, I’m SCARED TO DEATH!!! Why? I’m afraid of failure. Prior to this time going back to school, I’ve attempted to go to college 4 times and haven’t succeed any of those times.

I started out going to Snow College right out of high school, in 1998. I didn’t even make it a full semester. I didn’t have any money, I wasn’t getting along with my roommate, etc. So, I withdrew.

Then, a year or so later, I attempted to go to Salt Lake Community College. I was just going to take general education classes & get my generals out of the way. But then, I lost my job. Once again, I had no money. Plus, I was overwhelmed with the school work, etc. So, I withdrew.

Then, I started grasping at straws. I decided to enroll in the Veterinary Technician courses at Utah Career College. I LOVE animals, so I thought this would be a good field for me. But, then I took a class where we had to dissect a deceased animal, and I just couldn’t handle it. So…I withdrew.

Then, I enrolled in the accounting program at Eagle Gate College. I’ve worked in the accounting field for 9 years now, so I figured I might as well get a degree in it. But, then I just got overwhelmed and couldn’t handle the stress of going to school full time, plus working full time, etc. I got physically ill from the stress, so I dropped out.

It was nice, when I went to enroll in the personal fitness program, I told them about my fears of failing yet again and they sat me down & started asking questions about why I dropped out so many times previously. I told them I was going to school full time, working full time and just couldn’t handle it all. I thought full time was my only option so that I could get financial aid.

I told them that I’m not willing to give up my workouts & my training to go to school. They told me that I could enroll part time and still get financial aid. That helped with the anxiety of it all, but I’m still nervous.

Going part time, I’ll only have 1 class, 2 times a week for 5 weeks. It’ll take me a little over a year to complete the course and become certified.

The thought of failure is still lingering in the back of my mind though. But then, I had this thought last night. I can’t be afraid of failure. If I was afraid of failure, I wouldn’t have made it as far as I have. I wouldn’t have lost 114 lbs. I wouldn’t have competed in my first Half Ironman this year, etc.

Failure Is NOT an Option
Failure Is NOT an Option

So, I’m jumping head first in to this. I’m going to be positive about it and I’m going to get it done. I’ve actually already got a couple of people who want to be my clients. Lol. I guess I better go do some back to school shopping, huh?

So, I pose this question to you:

Failure

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5 thoughts on “Fear of Failure – Going Back to School”

  1. This is awesome girl! Congrats on the weight loss too!! I would love to hear more about your weight loss journey. You are doing excellent and such a motivation to myself and others!! Keep up the great work!

  2. I can relate so much to this.. I’ve also attempted college a few times, and nope, it’s not for me. That’s great you’re taking the leap! Go into it as you would with your workouts, it’s a priority of yours now. Good luck!

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