Today was a bad day for anxiety. I’m not sure why. I just woke up having an “off” day. I don’t know if it was because it was Monday. I don’t know if it was because I didn’t get my swimming done this morning. I honestly can’t pinpoint why I was having an off day.
I could feel the anxiety creeping up all day, but thought I was doing a pretty good job at keeping it under control. I had plenty to do at work, but I had plenty of time to get it done, so there were moments where I was getting frustrated with what people were asking of me, but I just sat back and would take a deep breath and be ok about it. There was A LOT of self talk today.
I go to lunch every day from 12:30 – 1:00 p.m. When I came back from lunch, it was like a switch was flipped in my brain and I just had a MAJOR anxiety attack. It took everything I had to NOT fall apart at work. I had already taken my medications for my depression and anxiety for the day, but thankfully I had in my purse my Xanax. My doctor has prescribed me Xanax just to take when I have a major anxiety meltdown, like today. I took one of my Xanax and it took 2 hours for it to kick in. Good Lord, those were the longest 2 hours of my life.
Thankfully I have a dear friend at work that lets me rant and just talk when I’m having anxiety. I also have my boyfriend that lets me just talk and helps me try and figure out what is causing my anxiety.
I still don’t know what was causing my anxiety. I think it may have been a couple of things. I think (still not sure) it might be that I’m honestly trying to focus on eating more food every day, but healthy food. I’m still bummed that I didn’t get to run on Saturday like I was supposed to (shin splints). I think part of my anxiety was that I was frustrated with myself that I didn’t get up this morning and go swimming like I was supposed to.
Thankfully, the medication kicked in and I started to come down off of my anxiety and then I just got really tired. I always get really tired after an anxiety attack. Thankfully work went well today and I was out of there by 5:15 pm. I came home and got my workout in and now I’m just lying in bed.
I think the most frustrating thing about anxiety attacks is when you don’t know what is causing it. If you know what is causing your anxiety, you can try and do something about it. What do you do when you have an anxiety attack and don’t know what has caused it?