I Need to Eat More

4 years ago this week I started my weight loss journey and training for my first triathlon. Since then, my focus has always been eat less/portion control and eating healthy.

Well, that worked at first to get the number to go down on the scale. Now that I’m down 100 lbs, I still need to lose some more weight, but with how much I’m working out, I need to eat more. I’m finding this EXTREMELY hard. A lot of people would say it’s not that hard, but it is. Especially when the last 4 years my mindset has been to eat less.

For breakfast almost every morning, if I’m home, I have a bowl of grits (200 calories) and a yogurt (80 calories). If I eat breakfast at work, it usually consists of 2 slices of toast with butter & jam and a cup of grapes & cheese cubes.

For lunch, I always have a Smart Ones frozen meal, a Lean Pocket, or an Easy Mac that is less than 300 calories & I usually have a salad to go with it. I also have a cup of grapes & cheese or apples & cheese (they’re addicting).

Lastly, for dinner, I have either a Smart Ones, or a Lean Pocket or a single serving of tuna fish & crackers (240 calories). For dessert, if I have something at home that is 100 calories or less, I’ll have that as well.

With how much I’m working out, I KNOW I need to eat more, but if I do, I feel guilty. I know that’s why the number is going up on the scale. I don’t know how to eat more. The only way I know how to eat more is if it is fresh fruit or veggies because to me, those have 0 calories. I know they don’t have 0 calories, but in Weight Watchers, they have no points. I never did Weight Watchers, but I know of some of their rules.

It’s honestly a mind game for me. If I eat more, I feel guilty, therefore I only eat more on the weekends because those are my “cheat” days, but even then, I try & stick to what I eat during the week for the most part, because otherwise I binge and bingeing isn’t healthy.

I know with having to run more miles to get ready for the Ogden Marathon, I need to eat more, but it’s hard. I just don’t know how to do it. I don’t know what to do. I just know I’m frustrated with seeing the number go up on the scale. I know some people will say to put the scale away and stop weighing myself, but I’ve been weighing myself every Saturday for the past 4 years. I can’t just put it away.

Does anybody have ANY suggestions? I just can’t handle seeing that number go up on the scale still.

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