I know that one of the only ways to deal with anxiety is to find out what triggers your anxiety. Once you know what triggers your anxiety, you can then break it down in to why that certain experience, place, or whatever gives you anxiety. I believe that once you know why something gives you anxiety, then you can figure out how to deal with the anxiety.
Currently, one of the major things that causes me anxiety is my job. Right now, I work in an accounting center (I’m not an accountant) for a major national retailer. I work in the payroll department. I help process payroll for the entire company and I make sure that whenever someone is terminated from the company, their final earnings are paid to them. I’ve been doing this job for 4 years, but I’ve been with the company for almost 8 years.
There are many reasons this job gives me anxiety. One reason is it is no longer intellectually challenging for me. I’m very bored with the job. I like the payroll aspect of it, but there is no room for advancement in my department. There never will be.
Another reason my job gives me anxiety is the people. I realize that you’ll get this any where, but I just can’t deal with this any longer. There is ALOT of favoritism in the department. I’m not appreciated for the work I do. If someone has a question about how my job is done, they go to someone else, they don’t come to me. I’ve brought many of these points up to my manager, but nothing gets done. My job in the department is the job that nobody wants, therefore, I get treated like that. It’s ridiculous.
I’ve tried applying for other payroll jobs outside the company, and because I don’t have a degree, I usually don’t even get an interview. I could have all the experience in the world, but because I don’t have a degree, I don’t even get the time of day. I’ve applied for other jobs inside the company that I know I’m qualified for, but they come up with some cockamamey reason as to why they have decided to choose someone else for the job.
My job has become a job that I absolutely dread. I hate going to work every day. No one should have to hate going to work. I was thinking the other day, I do volunteer work at Keys on Main (a club I frequent), so that while the cocktail waitresses are out doing their job, they don’t have to do maintenance in the restrooms. I enjoy doing that volunteer work for free, more than I enjoy my job that I get paid for. How sad is that? That shouldn’t be the case for anybody.
Back in November, I applied for a job as an assistant to the directors. When I interviewed, I was informed that it was going to be a long process and they didn’t know when they would be able to make a decision as to who was going to get the job. I went through two interviews, and I felt confident about the first interview. The second interview, I wasn’t sure how I felt. I didn’t feel as confident about the second interview as I did the first interview, but I didn’t feel like I did a terrible interview either. After the interview, I just kind of blew it off. I pretty much forgot about it. Then, Friday, I was staying at work late to finish up some work, and I got an email from the lady I interviewed with that she wanted to talk to me on Monday about the job. I’m trying not to get my hopes up about the job, but it would be REALLY nice if I got the job. I think I’ve got a good chance at getting the job. My previous manager was the one that pointed out to me that she thinks I should apply for this job. She helped me with my resume for this job. She put in a good reference for me.
If I don’t, I’m really considering leaving the industry & going back to retail. It just isn’t healthy for me, because of my anxiety, to work in this kind of environment. So, here’s to crossing my fingers & hoping I get the job.
Now that I know one of the anxiety triggers, now I just need to figure out how I’m going to deal with it. Sadly, I can’t just up & quit my job, even though I’d love to, but practically that just can’t happen.